The teeth of a gifted horse

One often wonders what goes on in people's heads when they choose to give a gift and then actually give the gift itself. Sometimes, the degree of an obligation to give the gift dictates the type of gift that's given. At times, it's the giver's personality, financial situations, closeness to the receiver of the gift, some combination of all factors, or some other reason that I can't think of now.

A few days ago we got a baby gift- one of our neighbors kindly gave us a Catimini (French. Expensive.) outfit. In size 2. And the top snap fell off as soon as the outfit was removed from the gift bag.

The conversation that followed a bit later included some of the following:

-How did you even accept the gift- you sit at home and don't open the door? (True statement, as I hibernate in my bedroom without opening the front door or answering my phone much.) What can I answer to that? I mistook my neighbor for my sister in law- something which neither one understood later. But once the door is open, it's rather difficult to say, Thanks for stopping by, but I don't accept any gifts, especially from you and especially something that I have to keep in my closet for the next two years AND remember to find it then and put it on my kid...

-The neighbor regifted this crap. It probably survived from one of her kids and it isn't worth much. We don't need any gifts in general and a gift like this in particular. Agreed. Most people regift and very few can do so gracefully...

-Why don't you go back to the neighbor and tell her that the snap fell off? Politely ask her where she got it and tell her you want to go and exchange it for a smaller size with a snap that would stay on for at least one day. I was embarrassed to admit that I'm too old for such tricks. Ten years ago I would've done it with a straight face but now I think it's better to donate this outfit or use it as a rag than go through the suggested routine.

-This gift reminds me of the one we got from your friend for Eh. She gave us a baby monitor when we lived in a rather small 1 bedroom apartment with the baby's converted-from-closet-with-a-window-room right next to ours. Yea, that useful gift came from a friend who lived in a similarly small apartment. And, she presented it as a gift from her whole family...If nothing else, these gifts are definitely memorable.

-Mommy, are we going to give this back to our neighbor? [Dear Gd, we shouldn't have such conversations in front of our kids! ] No, of course not! The new baby is going to wear it when she gets older. I just forgot to bring it to her room...

So I brought the bag with the outfit upstairs and kept it on my desk long enough to remember to write this post. Now I have to decide if it's ok to put it in the bag with some used clothes that I'm giving to a friend. After all, it's a Catimini.

Birthday Party - a personal ramble

Whenever I have conflicts with self and the stubborn voice inside tells something opposite of the polite/proper/necessary/civilized/etc voice, I know I should always listen to the stubborn voice. That voice usually takes good care of me when the civilized voice takes care of everybody else.

Tonight I attended a kid's bday party hosted by a one-time great friend. I didn't listen to the little egotistical voice. So instead I had 45 minutes to mull in my head how disappointing our meeting was as I drove home.

I tried to sort out what exactly ticked me off. I know it wasn't the fact that I didn't get the memo re: >3.5 heeled shoes - self and some senior citizen were the only 2 grown up women with flats on. When this was pointed out to the friend, I was told ' you know how my parties are.' 'Now I know' was all I can say.

Maybe that was it. I didn't know what I got myself into. Having an inkling is not quite the same thing as stepping right into something. And it's rather hard to find someone who wants to exchange small talk with you when you don't have the uniform on. I did succeed to have a quite pleasant conversation with the senior citizen (not once mentioning the only thing we had in common). As for my friend - we barely exchanged a few words. I know the hosts are usually busy, but that busy?

I didn't know how her parties were, and I no longer knew her either. Even if I put on my 4" Stewart Weitzmans (the skinniest and highest heels I've got), she and I wouldn't have much to say besides our mutual admiration for each other's kids and our assurances how much we missed each other/hope to see each other soon.

Another one of life's disappointments to note and get over with. And a lesson to listen to the little voice, politely excuse self from attending bday parties, and send gifts by mail.

Addendum (March 30th): I just got an email from Banana Republic with their 'most wanted' list. Apparently, 4" heels are in. Back to the cave I go.

If it makes you happy...

I'm not too good with remembering to bring food/lunch to work. I was in 7th food Haven when I worked in a place with a kosher cafeteria. When I switched assignments, I first managed with 2 pieces of whole wheat bread and/or cereal and until I discovered a (relatively) local pizza shop. Soon after that I started eating there almost exclusively.

Recently, I realized that my constant pizza trips became visible. But at the same time Sheryl Crow's song 'if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad' came to mind. I felt somewhat comforted -weight gain isn't the end of the world...

Then I remembered that Sheryl Crow also advocated to use one square of toilet paper per bathroom trip in her effort to be earth friendly. That idea is so darn bad it couldn't make anyone ( including Sheryl) happy. EEeeW!

So I switched to burgers and burritos.

Recycling

Last Wednesday was a snow day. It was also a recycling collection day. The sanitation people showed up early on Thursday and randomly collected some paper and cans.

It's Tuesday night and it snowed. And my dilemma is quite simple. Do I put out 1.5 weeks worth of recycling in hopes that since it snowed today, tomorrow would be a regular garbage pick up day? Do I not take out the recycling because there is snow on the ground and the sanitation department is going to be busy with snow removal tomorrow ( a preferred option @ the moment since I don't really want to get dressed and to the whole garbage-day-prep routine)?
OR do I just remind myself that the whole recycling routine is hubby's chore and let him have his own dilemmas (the best option yet, if I pretend to forget that today is hubby's bday and it would be a nice gesture on my part to take care of the Tuesday evening 'routine')?

And naturally the best case scenario would be if hubby won't notice that the recycling isn't out tonight and tomorrow, before work I'll take care of the whole thing as a happy-birthday-good-will-gesture.


And because I put so much thought into it, something tells me the recycling won't be picked up after all...Time shall tell.

Preschool hygiene

When I used to work with kids the first thing I did when entering a kid's house was wash my hands. And, after the session clean the toys with some sort of sanitizer.

I'm embarrassed to admit I don't remember what the hygiene procedure was when I worked in a day camp. Did we wash/wipe kids' hands before we fed them???
I know I made them wash their hands after they used the toilet. And since I worked for large institutions it was assumed that housekeeping would clean the toys.

As a mom of a toddler I wonder how much of my attempt to instill good hygiene habits can be retained by the kid if I spend mere 3-4 of her waking hours with her? I'm hoping and praying that washing hands before meals/snacks and after the bathroom is the accepted routine everywhere she will go. Why has it before such a hot topic now? Because there is no comparison between learning something right the first time vs trying to break bad habits...

And the toys (especially outdoor toys) in day camps and day cares, how often, if at all, do they get cleaned?

One of my friends told me that she chose to send her daughter to a nursery in a big school rather than send her to a local, less expensive and already familiar to the child, play group because the play group was "dirty'. I thought the friend was mean. And that my experience with grody toys in one day care was not a typical depiction of the general picture.

I've checked out a few local establishments since. Now I can't help but wonder- do parents accept discolored-with-dirt toys as part of the toddler play group experience? Do parents just not care one way or the other? Or do I have a knack for picking run down places for generalizing current trends?

Fluff Race

Just as I thought I don't have enough time in the day for anything I've discovered fluff racing.
Is there fluff racers anonymous?

Bad parenting

We had a visitor with a baby Eh's age last week. The girls hit it off and were playing pretty nicely, for the most part. At one point, the mom had to excuse herself and I was left with the kids. Before I knew what happened, the little visitor got a hold of one of Eh's drumsticks (little colorful things that came in a set of little instruments) and no matter how much Eh asked her she wouldn't give them. I told Eh that she should just take the stick away. But my poor little daughter just kept crying, jumping, screeching and trying all the other tricks available to a 2 year old except for taking the blessed stick from the kid. I was trying to teach Eh to be independent and kept telling her " take the stick, just take it" but my little girl just couldn't do it. Meanwhile the visitor seemed to be oblivious to Eh's distress and kept walking up and down the room with a stroller and a drumstick in her hand. She had a few months of daycare experience (aka fight for your toys) under her belt and just enjoyed the toys while she can.

This whole thing must've lasted for about 5 minutes at which point, the mom of the visiting girl came out of the bathroom, asked her daughter to give up the stick which she did with ease, and gave it to my inconsolable-for-another-few-minutes daughter.

I'm still reliving this episode as if it happened 1/2 hour ago ( though a bit over a week has past) and wondering what the h*ll made me think that by telling my daughter over and over and over again to take her toy away from someone who [technically speaking] stole it from her I'd give her a crash course in daycare etiquette. Not only didn't I help my daughter in the long rung, I didn't help my daughter. I let her cry, get disappointed, frustrated. I now feel resentment towards that kid and the mom, who heard the commotion but didn't bother coming to the rescue earlier since it wasn't her child who was crying...

Maybe after putting it in writing I'll get over this episode like my little Eh did a little while after it happened. Maybe I'll learn to stop doing stupid things as soon as I realize I'm doing something stupid rather than continuing to persevere in futile hope that something stupid will turn into something great? Hear hear.

SiM is 8 months

and a butt scooter...
And the therapist in me periodically harrasses my poor baby and makes him do his stomach time and other therapy tricks. But the mom in me is too lazy to do the half hour sessions and too compassionate (?) to listen to the little thing cry most of his exercise time...
Amuzingly, one of my friends keep coming to mind. His son didn't talk by the time he was 2 and I often told my friend to stop being a therapist and just be a parent...