Another Milestone

You know how you wait, and wait, and wait for something and it doesn't come? So you stop waiting and forget about it. And when it finally comes, you are shocked, not knowing quite what to do with it.

I think that's what happened with Eh and baby teeth. She and her siblings watched Elmo talk about baby teeth and the 'grown up' teeth. They read books about it. They saw their friends and neighbors. I'm sure Eh anticipated a tooth or two falling out (I sure did and talked about it with Eh). But Eh's baby teeth stayed put and we all forgot about them.

Until tonight, when Eh was eating her favorite meal in the world, aka pasta with cheese and ketsup (bah). And all of a sudden she started crying that her tooth was hurting. My first reaction - we didn't do as well with tooth brushing as I thought we did. However when I asked to see which tooth was hurting, I realized it was a FIFO (first in, first out) right buttom tooth. I told Eh excitedly that she was going to lose her baby tooth. And Eh just started crying louder.

In the end, I bribed her by offering to sit in her bed at bedtime, and Eh stopped crying. And thus, a couple of days before her birthday, she got a shaky tooth. Yay!

Qutting Pacies Cold Turkey.

I was thinking about it today, as my kids tried to fall asleep, that it seems somehow unfair that an adult can make a kid quit something cold turkey. Especially when that's something as dear as a pacifier.

Conversely, I thought how nice it may be to 'help' my downstairs neighbor quit smoking or the neighbor down the hallway clean up from all the recreational activities. Just like that, cold turkey. Adult pacifiers are not so easily taken away... But I digress.

A couple of weeks ago I decided that my kids' upcoming 2 week vacation may be a good time to finally get rid of pacies. Because there really isn't a "good" time.

I've done it once, almost 3 years ago. It went pretty smoothly except I misguidedly listened to someone who felt bad for my tiny kids. I felt bad for my tiny kids, too. After all, they were mine. So after a couple of weeks pacy free, we started night time pacies. Except there is no pure night time. There are nap times, and bad mood times, and need to rest times, and defiant times, and just because times...I was waiting for my kids to voluntarily give up the habit. But though one frequently talked about it, the other one didn't want to hear about it. And the time kept ticking. Beginning of school, beginning of Sunday program, long vacation, short breaks, stresses and stressors. No time seems to be good. Then there was the dentist 2 months ago who said they've got to (especially one of them) stop. And a smug 23 year old at work who said she just did it...
Then, quite acceidentally, (who reads school calendars?) I found out that my kids have 2 weeks vacation.

I told both the kids and hubby about the start date. I was dreading it, neither one of the other parties seem to realize what was coming. And when it was bedtime, I recapped my speech about giving pacies to a local charity fund. Then, I politely took away 2 of my son's pacies and one of my daughter's. I kind of had to snatch her spare one, there is no sugarcoating it.

It seemed almost effortless for one of them. S/he said 'yea, I'm ready to give up pacies', reminded me maybe 15 times to give her/him the vitamins ( which normally we both forget), and went to sleep within 10 minutes.

The other one took it hard. First s/he wined. Then pleaded. Then demanded. Then almost threatened (to go and sleep on the couch). Then alternated between all of the above. After about 20 minutes that lasted hours, I manage to find a distruction by counting together first to 20, then to 50, then to 100. The quiet seemed promising. Then I started counting down from 100. And s/he remembered the loss.

The pleading and demanding was pretty hard. It took quite a lot of strength on my part. And this was not the first time I took something away from my child. But there was something so eloguent and desparate in that plea to get the pacy back, that minutes seemed to stretch to no end.

Finally, probably after an hour ( not sure, I lost track of time), hubby came to the rescue, at first quite unaware of all the drama. His presence worked to distract the heartbreaking sobs. After another 10 minutes of small talk and jokes everyone finally fell asleep.

In the morning they woke up the usual 6 AM as if nothing happened. I was waiting for some questions, comments, requests. None came. We survived day #1.

Always wear clean underwear

Ok. So this post isn't about underwear at all... Though that's what I thought of at the end of the day. How some people say that their mom's told them to always wear clean underwear when they go outside-just in case something happens and they have to go to a hospital where Not clean underwear would be noticed.


Anyhow. Today was one of those Sundays. The kids woke up a bit too early and by 10 o'clock I realized that if I don't get them out of the house within minutes, bad things would happen to an otherwise good living room.

"Within minutes' resulted in:
Eh wearing a decent outfit with her new sparkly 'special occasion' tights and hair, albeit in a pony with a headband, framing her face a bit wildly;
SiM dressed in matching clean outfit;
Baby wearing *new* turquoise/purple sweatsuit (with cropped pants!), *warm* pink panda socks, *extra warm* bright green jacket;
Self wearing a cute denim skirt (which sadly shrunk over the holiday season resulting in loss of both loss waist button and some of the length), beige t-shirt, and black velvet hat (which thankfully stayed on head with perfect hair coverage).
Favorite sister joined us in her favorite Sunday getup.

We were having fun in the park for about 30 minutes, sister/baby on baby swings, self and big kids on big kid swings. It was decently not crowded and thankfully uneventful (other than Eh's hair became even fluffier and the sparkly tights got one snag).

Then SiM decided to run from 'big kids' crowd to the 'other' :) crowd. And that's how I noticed that favorite sister is talking to someone else. That someone else ended up being a couple (now with child) whom I actually introduced and whom I haven't seen in 4 years.
We were delighted to see each other and meet our new additions.

Amusingly, Baby, who carefully chooses who may and may Not hold her (or even look at her), let my friend hold her and even didn't want to go back to me! Not so amusingly though, my friend pointed out that Baby's thighs were cold and I felt a bit embarrassed explaining that the pants were "cropped" and the socks should be pulled up like knee highs.

And after I went to my car I wondered about the irony of having 47 different headbands and a 8x4 container full of hair clips, pony holders and detangler while my Eh looked like a kid from a Yahoo commercial for hair products (the one before the parent discovered yahoo:)). And the irony of having lots and lots and lots of clothes to dress little Baby and then being caught dressing her in *cropped* sweat pants on a windy day, not to mention the rest of the color scheme. The irony of me telling everyone how much fun it is to dress up girls when in reality, in a crunch, a dressing a boy is a piece of cake. And of course, the fact that if the skirt doesn't fit, Don't wear it!

In the afternoon, I had a pleasure of meeting someone I haven't seen in 6 years. Thankfully, Eh's hair was pretty, Baby was dressed in one of her cute pink outfits with full size pants, and SiM still looked put together. I, on the other hand, still had The skirt on and exchanged the hat that fit for a head scarf which was more comfortable (hopefully, my hair didn't stick out from it like Eh's did in the morning). They were delighted to see me non the less (and unlike me didn't seem to gain 30 lbs).

My 3 loyal readers know that I frequently complain about my minivan because it's a mom-car and it makes me feel like, well, a mom. But not necessarily a glamour mom but a mom whom every sedan and SUV want to pass. A mom who needs to shlep lots of groceries in one hand while shlepping a crying child in another. A mom who hardly sleeps, doesn't have time to take care of herself OR her car... You get the picture.

Well, today I felt in part like a self fulfilling prophet and in part like a lucky woman who just forgot that it Always Pays to Wear Clean Underwear. Well, you know what I mean.

7 teeth!

Yesterday I noticed tooth number 7. Top left incisor - the cutest little white speck sticking out from the gum.
And today, my little bebe took a few crawling on all 4 steps! It's been coming for a while, because she'd assume the quadraped position and then sit ( and crawl like a little worm for locomotion).
Now, she does the all-four 4 step crawl - what can be cuter than that?
And at the end of the day, my girl actually enjoyed her bath (as opposed to howling through it) - something that happened with others but only happened one time ( month 7?) with me...

New Teeth ( different baby:)) and other stuff

In the beginning of last week baby had 2 top teeth (spaced to a baby perfection) and 2 bottom teeth. Then there were 4 days of fever. And this week there Are tooth number 5 (Left top molar - who knew they can come out so early) and tooth number 6 (incisor crowning on the right side of wonderfully spaced top tooth).

Hair is slowly coming out of its hiding and 2 things are quite obvious. Baby is a brunette and she has curly hair (a couple little twirls in the back deserve a picture of their own).

Baby already ate a whole very soft nectarine, watermelon slices, tasted a dry lady bug, and can't have too many Cheerios.

Baby learned to jump and rock by holding on to her crib and she absolutely loves when her siblings join her in this activity.

On this happy note, peace out for now.

What is love

A couple of days ago SiM told me "Mommy, I love you very much!" Then he added " I love you very much because you buy me a lot of toys!" Too bad hubby wasn't there. I'm sure after hearing SiM, he'd stop saying that our house looks like a mini toy shop.

The best gift of all

I came home with left over birthday cake that my department got for me. And as soon as I walked in the door I told my kids that I bought them some of my birthday cake.
SiM answered "I have something for you, mommy." And he gave me a 20x20 card that said "Happy birthday to SiM's and Eh's mommy" that his teacher made in his playgroup. The card had SiM's and his playgroup buddies scribbles inside as well as birthday wishes from the teacher.

I asked SiM if he made the card in school and he proudly said 'yea!'. And when I called the teacher to tell her how grateful I was for the card and how it touched me, the teacher said "Don't thank me. Your son came to playgroup and said 'today is my mommy's birthday'. I asked him if we should make you a birthday card and he said 'yes'..."

The birthday card SiM gave me is one of the best birthday gifts I ever received.

She tricked me

On Wednesday I tried to be a good mom and took the two older kids shopping with me. We made two stops - supermarket and variety store.

The kids behaved remarkably well in the supermarket - they took turns riding in the front of the shopping card and didn't make any unreasonable demands (the extras included two bags of corn chips and a bag of sour sticks for shabbos party).

They were OK at the variety store, too. They helped me choose dairy and meat plastics for our kitchen table and attempted to buy only one mop. They later requested to ride on some 50 cent cross between a kangaroo and a rabbit and I agreed, seeing how nicely they behaved.

The ride back home was 6 minutes maximum. I think exchanged a couple of sentences with them on the way. Then we arrived in front of our house and I went to unbuckle the kids. To my surprise and disappointment, Eh's fallen asleep. When did it happen? How did I miss it? A kid falling asleep around 5:30PM is nothing but trouble....

I called her by name. No response. I called her again, and rubbed her knee. No response. I called her the third time and rubbed her knee a bit stronger. And that's when Eh started laughing with her eyes still closed!

I was relieved that she wasn't sleeping. But when did my kid get old enough to know that if she pretends to fall asleep (a skill in and of itself) in the car, that may get me going for a bit?

Boo Haman

On Purim night, the kids and I went to shul to listen to the megilah. SiM took along the gragger he made in school. Eh chose to take her wand only.

Both kids enthusiastically booed every time Haman's name was mentioned and SiM shook his gragger. A few minutes later my kids noticed some other kids with lollies and SiM politely asked for a lolly, too. I dispatched Eh to get some lollies from a candy man and a few minutes later, Eh and SiM were multitasking -eating lollies and booing Haman.

What made this blogworthy? After getting his lolly pop, almost without fail, SiM would first shake the lolly, then realize that he was shaking the wrong hand, and start shaking his gragger. After I reminded him of this story today, I'm not sure which one of us was laughing harder -he or I.

Fashionably late

I still remember the days when I used to be punctual. That frequently meant being one of the first (if not the first) on many occasions. For example, coming to an engagement party before the engaged parties, etc. It also meant that I was always on time at work and usually didn't miss my bus, train, or plane. Basically, I knew how to manage my time.

Fast forward a couple of years. I'm so chronically late to work that I had to change my schedule. I now come to weddings by bodeken time (though I aim to come at least 1/2 hour before that) and consider myself lucky if I get to congratulate the bride before the ceremony ( not to mention missing the refreshments:)). And everywhere else? Time became a really fluid concept.

A few days ago my sister made a party which many of our mutual friends/family attended. I had every intention of coming in right on time (I didn't kid myself about coming in earlier and helping to set up). But when the party was beginning, I was still in the process of getting self and kids ready. Long story short, as I was walking in, 3 of my friends with whom I was looking forward to socializing were walking out. By the time I got my act (refreshments on my plate) together, a couple of relatives walked out before I got a chance to move beyond greetings. And albeit I very much enjoyed the party, I wished I timed things a bit better.

So, is there a hope for the return of punctuality? Only time shall tell.

Back to work

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I had to go back to work. Surprisingly ( or maybe I just forgot the other times), it was hard to go back.

I knew this time around that I didn't want to leave a 6 week old baby and start working again. I hoped to go back when the baby was 12 weeks and I made an appearance at work on the day my baby turned 2 months.

In some ways returning to work after a 2 months absence is worse than starting a new job. I'm supposed to be in the know but I had to pause even before entering passwords to all the software that I use. Personnel changes, policy changes, all the work that for some inexplicable reason waited for my return, almost unrealistic expectations of the ones above me in the food chain for me to perform magic on reduced schedule. And I feel that I'm not the same person who worked there 2 months ago. I'm just a mom who works but who's rather be home with her baby, dropping off the older kids to school and picking them up from school on time...

In the two months that I've been home I've lost some of my immunity to human tragedy and most of my patience for frequent ignorance that is so common in my line of work. My commute became a time to reevaluate my career goals instead of just socializing with friends and family. Do I need a career? Maybe a job is good enough...

But at the end of the day, I thank Gd that I have a job that I can go back to.

Pros and Cons of taking kids to a wedding

Pro: quality time spent with kids
Con: while most spent that time attending the chupa

Pro: getting an opportunity to show off my kids
Con: not getting an opportunity to talk about them

Pro: kids eating dinner without any complaints about food
Con: portions aren't big enough for a kid and an adult with a healthy appetite

Pro: Having a built in excuse not to socialize while eating
Con: Having that excuse squirm on my lap most of the meal

Pro: fitting into my pre-pregnancy dress
Con: not realizing until after returning home from the event that just fitting into something might not be enough for the desired look

Pro: kids enjoying dancing
Con: the crowded dance floor necessitating this dancing to be done while being held by mom

Pro: finding comfortable high heeled shoes in the closet in less than 2 minutes
Con: shoe being only comfortable when no attempts are made at dancing with a child in hands

Pro: bribing the kids with some take-home-to-eat-later cookies and kids forgetting about them upon returning home
Con: husband discovering and consuming the cookies before I did

What's your name

Today, while on my way to pick up Eh from school, I met one of my neighbors. She wished me mazal tov on the new baby, asked me how we both are.

As we were parting, I said 'Good to see you, Rivky!'
"Hmm... Rivky is my upstairs neighbor. My name is Malka.' my neighbor replied politely.

I apologized for my mistake and told Malka that from now on, I'll call her by her right name.
However, two hours later, to my great embarrassment I remembered having a little chat with Malka before that ended with 'Good to see you, Rivky!' and 'I'm sorry, I won't forget your name now!'

Expensive cheese

No matter how frequently and how carefully I try to cut my baby's nails, she manages to scratch herself. So for the most part of a 24 hour period, I keep her hands covered with special undershirts that have little mittens at the end (the proper name of this garment eludes me at the moment).

Whenever my baby's hands get released from their 'jails' they are a bit smelly. Last week, at the beginning of another round of let-baby's-hands-breathe, I apologized to the babysitter for baby's smelly hands and explained that I didn't wash them yet. But the babysitter wisely replied " No need to apologize. The baby smells like an expensive cheese...The smell is wonderful."

I instantly realized that she was right. I'm not a fan of expensive aged cheeses but everything about baby smells is quite delicious and wonderful. And incidentally, her nickname now is (Expensive) Cheese.

When I gave the baby her first official bath today, I told both of us that the cheese nickname may now have to be changed. But, I didn't change it just yet.

The teeth of a gifted horse

One often wonders what goes on in people's heads when they choose to give a gift and then actually give the gift itself. Sometimes, the degree of an obligation to give the gift dictates the type of gift that's given. At times, it's the giver's personality, financial situations, closeness to the receiver of the gift, some combination of all factors, or some other reason that I can't think of now.

A few days ago we got a baby gift- one of our neighbors kindly gave us a Catimini (French. Expensive.) outfit. In size 2. And the top snap fell off as soon as the outfit was removed from the gift bag.

The conversation that followed a bit later included some of the following:

-How did you even accept the gift- you sit at home and don't open the door? (True statement, as I hibernate in my bedroom without opening the front door or answering my phone much.) What can I answer to that? I mistook my neighbor for my sister in law- something which neither one understood later. But once the door is open, it's rather difficult to say, Thanks for stopping by, but I don't accept any gifts, especially from you and especially something that I have to keep in my closet for the next two years AND remember to find it then and put it on my kid...

-The neighbor regifted this crap. It probably survived from one of her kids and it isn't worth much. We don't need any gifts in general and a gift like this in particular. Agreed. Most people regift and very few can do so gracefully...

-Why don't you go back to the neighbor and tell her that the snap fell off? Politely ask her where she got it and tell her you want to go and exchange it for a smaller size with a snap that would stay on for at least one day. I was embarrassed to admit that I'm too old for such tricks. Ten years ago I would've done it with a straight face but now I think it's better to donate this outfit or use it as a rag than go through the suggested routine.

-This gift reminds me of the one we got from your friend for Eh. She gave us a baby monitor when we lived in a rather small 1 bedroom apartment with the baby's converted-from-closet-with-a-window-room right next to ours. Yea, that useful gift came from a friend who lived in a similarly small apartment. And, she presented it as a gift from her whole family...If nothing else, these gifts are definitely memorable.

-Mommy, are we going to give this back to our neighbor? [Dear Gd, we shouldn't have such conversations in front of our kids! ] No, of course not! The new baby is going to wear it when she gets older. I just forgot to bring it to her room...

So I brought the bag with the outfit upstairs and kept it on my desk long enough to remember to write this post. Now I have to decide if it's ok to put it in the bag with some used clothes that I'm giving to a friend. After all, it's a Catimini.

Belly button...

Or rather the remaining piece of the umbilical cord Fell off yesterday, when Baby was exactly two weeks old:)

She's officially an individual with just her belly button to remind me that we were once One.

New Addition

She didn't arrive after hearing the shofar on Rosh Hashana...
She didn't arrive after fasting and praying on Yom Kippur...
She didn't arrive on either first OR second day of Sukkot...
And then, she was here on the second day of chol hamoed- bright and early, 4:15 in the morning- my brand new Baby girl:)

SiM's first day in school

Today was SiM's official first day in play group. He was both enthusiastic and hesitant - happily packing his knapsack and saying that he is not going to school. Eh even told him a few times that he likes school, that he is going to play with lots of toys and he already knows his morah (teacher) [he met her last year when he 'walked' Eh to school every day].

Finally, Eh declared that she'll take SiM to school together with me. SiM happily put his mitzva note into his pocket, demanded to have his knapsack placed on his back, and off to play group we went.

SiM was the first one to arrive ( if you don't count teacher's grandson who was visiting for a day). He was just a tad hesitant entering into the play group's yard. However, he eagerly produced his mitzva note from his pocket and gave it to the teacher and was heading towards some toys in the back. Then Eh said that she's going to stay and play with him ' a little bit' and SiM went to sit down at a little table and play play dough with Eh and teacher's grandson ( thankfully, since it was quite empty, the teacher allowed Eh to stay for a few minutes).

When I came home from work and asked SiM how his first day in school was, he proudly informed me that he didn't cry. When asked if he enjoyed playing with toys and meeting new kids he said he did. SiM also confirmed that he is going to go to school tomorrow. And for the grand finale, he showed me a shofar drawing that he colored and decorated with confetti in school.

I felt relieved, content, and proud. Tomorrow is Eh's orientation and I hope and pray she'll continue to enjoy school like she did until now. And she'll come home from her first day of school with lots of positive things to say.

ESL, Ulpan, whatever- just do it!

On Shabbat, Eh went to visit one of her friends. There, we met another little girl, ' a cousin from Eretz Yisroel'. This was exciting to me and I didn't hesitate to mention that Eh's cousin from Israel was visiting as well.

While the kids were playing, I asked Eh's friend's mom if she knew how to say 'slides' in Hebrew. She said that unfortunately she didn't speak a word of Hebrew. Then, I turned to cousin-from-Eretz-Yisroel's mom and asked her the same question.
Her reply? A proud "I don't know. I live in an American neighborhood and I don't need to know Hebrew..."

I jokingly told her that she's like the Russians on Brighton who live in the country for 20+ years and can barely speak a coherent sentence in English. She agreed with a serious look on her face.

I let the subject drop but it bothered me long enough to actually post about it.

What's up with all these people who don't bother to learn the language of the country where they live?! The babysitters who want to teach you and your kids how to speak Spanish instead of trying to learn from you OR your kids how to speak English... The cleaning ladies whose vocabularies year after year after year don't change much and include something like 'bounty, Windex, Ajax (pronounced a-Hoks), fantastic, lot-of-work-more-money'...The students and their families who pride themselves in learning in 'Eretz Yisroel' yet can't express themselves well enough in a grocery store and may ask for 'chicken's underwear' instead of 'chicken bottoms'?!

And there are many many more examples but unfortunately I must get to bed or else. In conclusion, I say the foreigners should drop the pride in their ignorance and attempt to learn a little. I hear it may delay the onset of senile dementia...

My big boy

Today, when the babysitter was saying her good byes for the day, SiM said bye and then said
" thanks Molly for taking me to park". It warmed my heart and I thought that he really is "I not baby, I big boy!".