Third night in a row SiM wakes up coughing and can't seem to fall back asleep easily. Hubby's taking care of him and I suddenly find myself very awake.
An intrusive thought keeps coming up of just how much I miss my previous work assignment. Nostalgic memories of the hospital-like environment, kosher cafeteria with its brew-it-yourself coffee, hot breakfasts and lunches, the doctors, the nurses, rec programs, the morning rounds with self-important-too-numerous-to-count-vice-presidents, the almost-always-annoying-but-sometimes-cool MD and PA students, social workers, dietitians, volunteers...lots of friendly and lots of unfriendly people who finally started to respond to greetings...
(I'm aware that I sound like an immigrant whose memories over time make everything and everybody 'back home' seem bright and beautiful, educated, and polite...Awareness is not helpful this time.)
I tell myself that I was 'the bigger person' for leaving instead of staying and getting two ignorant 'colleagues' reassigned or fired. But then, I remember that good guys finish last and I don't want to be the 'bigger', 'better', 'more mature'...
Hope SiM gets better soon (for many reasons and ) because typically midnight thoughts are quite unproductive.
Zooey update: Two years
4 days ago