I think I'll keep my day job

While on maternity leave and nursing, I have some free time to read, watch the cooking channel, or eBay. Sometimes I choose eBay.

While pregnant, I managed to eBay and purchase too many items. So at this point in my life, I tried my luck as a salesperson and attempted to sell some of my maternity stuff. I listed one of the maternity dresses that I bought in a lot. I didn't wear it because it wasn't my speed and used.

The dress sold for an obscene $70. Albeit new it costs close to $200, I described the dress as having minor signs of wear, and I was naturally excited that it raked in so much. My excitement was somewhat short lived. Here's a condensed story in form of emails...

Sally Hazel (SH): hi, I sent you an invoice earlier today with two different shipping quotes (2 different services). Please let me know if you didn't receive it for some reason. thanks, Sally
[Paypal indicated that buyer was from London. After I emailed her an invoice, I received a 'request for total due'. I sent the above email as an explanation of my invoice.]

Buyer (B): Hi, I am now confused. Did you send me shipping quote for the US or the UK?I am now in the US NOT in London. Let me know and I'll pay straight away. Many thanks, Violetta

SH: Hi, I sent you a bill for your London address. Please change your address on Paypal and I'll be able to send you another invoice. sorry for the inconvenience, Sally

B: [Requested total from the seller]

SH: hi, I cannot change the bill until you change your address. sorry for the inconvenience. thanks, Sally

B: Hi, I've changed the address but it won't let me change the country! so now it seems as though canal street is in the UK... Hmm... Does that work? Thanks and sorry for inconvenience..Violetta

SH: hi, please confirm your shipping address. paypal is giving me a hard time. thanks, Sally

B: [emailed her address]

B: Hi,I just received the dress and I am unfortunately not at all happy with the condition. What you described in the listing as 'minimal piling present under arms' is in reality heavy piling, especially over the right breast, in very plain view. I wouldn't have minded light piling under arms but I think the dress is not at all in the condition advertised. Please advise as I wouldn't have bid $70 for a dress in such poor condition. Many thanks, Violetta

SH: hi, Sorry you aren't' happy with the dress. I thought I described it accurately ( I even asked a second opinion before listing it). Please ship it back and I'll refund your $. Or you can drop it off in Midtown during business hours if that would be more convenient ( let me know and I'll give the the exact address).Thanks, Sally

SH: I just thought of something else. If the dress fits you- to save you the time of returning and me of relisting the dress- you can bring it to cleaners to remove whatever piling bothers you. I'll issue you partial refund. Let me know if that's something that'll work for you, thanks, Sally

B: Hi, I'm sorry but in the condition it is in I don't think the dress is worth half what I paid for it, even if drycleaner managed to work miracles.I can come drop it off tomorrow. Could you give me an address? Also, would you refund Paypal? Many thanks Violetta

SH: No problem, I'll refund your account as soon as I get the dress . but since I didn't hear from you yesterday and my friend who works on Lexington only works Mon through Fri, please ship it. Thanks, Sally

B: Ehhhr... It's Saturday tomorrow so you wouldn't be able to receive it by mail before Tuesday anyway?!? I find your inflexibility disheartening. Oh well.

SH: Shrug. I'm bending over backwards to accommodate you with a return of an item which is normally not returnable ...I wasn't able to reach my friend for exact address . I'll email you by Sunday with the address . Please return the dress by Mon between 9-5 business hours. Thanks, Sally

SH: My friend will be at work tomorrow from 8:00 till 5:00 with a break for lunch from 1:00 to 2:00. The exact address is ... You can call 212-...and ask for... - she will meet you in the lobby, if you do not want to come up. Thank you.

B: still awaiting your address for return. Please advise. I'd like to be done with this as soon as possible. Many thanks, Violetta

SH: I mailed you the address and Even her phone number yesterday. If I don't get the dress tomorrow I won't be able to take it back. Thank you, Sally

B: You have not emailed me anything yesterday. You said in your last correspondence with me that you would have sent me address on Sunday but you didn't.I DIDN"T, repeat DIDN'T, receive ANYTHING from you yesterday and I check my email several times a day.If this is a clever trick to avoid returning an inappropriately advertised item, then know that I will not hesitate in opening a Paypal/Ebay dispute and I will not hesitate in leaving you a negative feedback.Please advise as soon as possible as this is getting ridiculous.Violetta

B: I just saw this [the email with the address in the city] in my Ebay inbox. It was clearly sent today NOT yesterday.

SH: Please cancel this transaction [trying to recover the fee ebay charged for the sale that didn't happen].

B: Happy to cancel transaction after I receive the refund.Many thanks Violetta

B: Please advise Re: refund

B: I really think that as a gesture of goodwill you should have refundd the entire amount (USD 74.95).i'd like to remind you that had you been accurate in your description there would have been no need to return the item so it is really cheap on your part to not refund postage.

PS. I still await for the transaction to be cancelled and wonder why I felt any sympathy at all for pregnant cheep Violetta

Expensive cheese

No matter how frequently and how carefully I try to cut my baby's nails, she manages to scratch herself. So for the most part of a 24 hour period, I keep her hands covered with special undershirts that have little mittens at the end (the proper name of this garment eludes me at the moment).

Whenever my baby's hands get released from their 'jails' they are a bit smelly. Last week, at the beginning of another round of let-baby's-hands-breathe, I apologized to the babysitter for baby's smelly hands and explained that I didn't wash them yet. But the babysitter wisely replied " No need to apologize. The baby smells like an expensive cheese...The smell is wonderful."

I instantly realized that she was right. I'm not a fan of expensive aged cheeses but everything about baby smells is quite delicious and wonderful. And incidentally, her nickname now is (Expensive) Cheese.

When I gave the baby her first official bath today, I told both of us that the cheese nickname may now have to be changed. But, I didn't change it just yet.

Proofreading

Someone recently asked me to read to them some of my compositions. So I did. And discovered that whereas some of my compositions are easy reading, others I had to read twice ( and if I wasn't there, I won't be able to tell what the compositions were all about).

Moral of the story: forget the spellchecker and just proofread.

The teeth of a gifted horse

One often wonders what goes on in people's heads when they choose to give a gift and then actually give the gift itself. Sometimes, the degree of an obligation to give the gift dictates the type of gift that's given. At times, it's the giver's personality, financial situations, closeness to the receiver of the gift, some combination of all factors, or some other reason that I can't think of now.

A few days ago we got a baby gift- one of our neighbors kindly gave us a Catimini (French. Expensive.) outfit. In size 2. And the top snap fell off as soon as the outfit was removed from the gift bag.

The conversation that followed a bit later included some of the following:

-How did you even accept the gift- you sit at home and don't open the door? (True statement, as I hibernate in my bedroom without opening the front door or answering my phone much.) What can I answer to that? I mistook my neighbor for my sister in law- something which neither one understood later. But once the door is open, it's rather difficult to say, Thanks for stopping by, but I don't accept any gifts, especially from you and especially something that I have to keep in my closet for the next two years AND remember to find it then and put it on my kid...

-The neighbor regifted this crap. It probably survived from one of her kids and it isn't worth much. We don't need any gifts in general and a gift like this in particular. Agreed. Most people regift and very few can do so gracefully...

-Why don't you go back to the neighbor and tell her that the snap fell off? Politely ask her where she got it and tell her you want to go and exchange it for a smaller size with a snap that would stay on for at least one day. I was embarrassed to admit that I'm too old for such tricks. Ten years ago I would've done it with a straight face but now I think it's better to donate this outfit or use it as a rag than go through the suggested routine.

-This gift reminds me of the one we got from your friend for Eh. She gave us a baby monitor when we lived in a rather small 1 bedroom apartment with the baby's converted-from-closet-with-a-window-room right next to ours. Yea, that useful gift came from a friend who lived in a similarly small apartment. And, she presented it as a gift from her whole family...If nothing else, these gifts are definitely memorable.

-Mommy, are we going to give this back to our neighbor? [Dear Gd, we shouldn't have such conversations in front of our kids! ] No, of course not! The new baby is going to wear it when she gets older. I just forgot to bring it to her room...

So I brought the bag with the outfit upstairs and kept it on my desk long enough to remember to write this post. Now I have to decide if it's ok to put it in the bag with some used clothes that I'm giving to a friend. After all, it's a Catimini.

Belly button...

Or rather the remaining piece of the umbilical cord Fell off yesterday, when Baby was exactly two weeks old:)

She's officially an individual with just her belly button to remind me that we were once One.

New Addition

She didn't arrive after hearing the shofar on Rosh Hashana...
She didn't arrive after fasting and praying on Yom Kippur...
She didn't arrive on either first OR second day of Sukkot...
And then, she was here on the second day of chol hamoed- bright and early, 4:15 in the morning- my brand new Baby girl:)

Bitter Sweet

Tonight, even though there was lots of tasty food in the house, I had the urge to get dinner from my favorite Carlos and Gabby. At the last moment, I decided to eat in, instead of taking it to go. Then, I was compelled to buy seltzer, just in case all that good food won't agree with me.
And then I saw someone with whom I was very close 15 years ago, a great friend with whom I lost touch even before she got married.

The reconnection was instant. It was as if we've never lost touch. Then, in a short conversation on our way back to our cars ( we both parked around-the-corner, one behind the other), she told me she was in the process of getting divorced. She didn't need my sympathy, my words of comfort. But this bit of news added bitterness to our happy reunion. There was my always down to earth, fun friend who always found a positive spin on things, just telling me simply that sometimes things don't turn out the way you wish they did.