Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Good friends we have, oh, good friends we've lost...

In the past few years, I've noticed a trend. A 'friend' completes her higher education/marries 'up'/marries 'frumMer'/marries kolel and then subtly (though often not-so-subtly) converts into a patronizing holier-than-thou being.

A few recent examples:
-A friend (one is tempted to write 'former') recently moved to LONG ISLAND. She was generous enough to buy a birthday gift for my kid. However the commute from LONG ISLAND was too great so she left the gift by her parents (who live in brooklyn) and called me to ask if I wouldn't mind picking it up. And she wasn't kidding.

-Two friends (?) (one- a kolel wife) seem to criticize with an air of subject-matter-experts practically any opinion I have on any remotely intellectual topics. And one of them couldn't understand why I don't want to socialize outside of work.

-A former-close-friend-now-a-respected-professional didn't attend my (very important to me) family simcha and called to say that she's not sure what to give as a gift. I told her not to bother, so she didn't. She also phased out of socializing. (peace out)

Today I had the pleasure of meeting with one of these friends. And after the meeting I felt like I stepped into something stinky. Have I become petty in my old age or did I have poor judgment of people when I was young?

5 comments:

Mikeinmidwood said...

This has happened to me. I was very close with a friend and then he drifted away into the kollel life. Its hard to speak with him anymore, he just doesnt care about anything.

Moshe said...

Hey little sister, don't shed no tears.
No woman no cry.

Jacob Da Jew said...

WTF, she can't mail the gift?

Sally Hazel said...

MIM- It's not just that friends 'stop caring about anything', they adapt an attitude of superiority...And you can't help but wonder what and when went wrong...

Moshe- I remember when we used to sit...observing the hypocrites...

JDJ-that's what I wanted to ask her, too. Personally deliver the gift, mail it, or just don't bother.
Don't use 'long island' as an excuse.

Lion of Zion said...

i guess i'm lucky, as my closest friends are still my friends from high school or right after high school. but we've all pretty much followed the same trajectory (with the exception that i'm the only one who hasn't left brooklyn . . . yet)