References

When I was younger, things seemed very simple. I either wasn't asked to be a reference, or I was asked to be a reference for someone for whom I could easily sing praises. Lately however, I find it hard being a reference. I think at risk of being thought of as a witch I have to politely decline to be a reference upfront, or suggest someone with a more glorious title.

95% of the time I just have to check off a couple of boxes, or answer a few multiple choice questions, or compose a generic letter concluding what an asset so-and-so going to be to the prospective place of employment/school. And the other 5% percent I hope ( and pray) that the check offs are leave room for vague answers, the multiple choice questions are very generic, and if I conclude my letters with just a ' please feel free to contact me for any further information' it won't look suspicious to the reader.

Because there are some people with whom I worked who were unfortunately mediocre-not bad, but not good, either; a somebody who was usually ( but not always) better than a nobody. And I was secretly relieved when they resigned. I don't want to provide inaccurate or inadequate information to the potential employer but I don't want to provide information that would be less than favorable, either. Agreeing to be a reference for someone implies that I'm on her/his side.

And so my 'new year's resolution' will be to try to go back to being blunt and transparent. Bluntness be a tad uncomfortable in the moment but it definitely eliminates nagging doubt in the future.

Happy new year!

Work, school, blah

I took Eh to a doctor today because she's been complaining of an ear ache. I lucky 9:15AM appointment still set me back 2.5 hours. I drove more than 1/2 way towards work when the babysitter called saying that she has a family emergency. I turned around, drive back home, take SiM and drive the babysitter to the location of the emergency.

That location is approximately 15 minutes away from work, so I make a judgment call and go to work with SiM to see if my presence is really needed there (read: if I have to look for someone to watch my kids in PM ). The situation @ work was under control but SiM ( as most 18 month olds would) got lots of attention and my quick stay extended to nearly an hour.

Then, the administrator walked into the gym (The same one, who spied on me for 3 months and THEN turned off the internet @ work). He greeted SiM (only) who in turn blew a raspberry. I felt obligated to return the greeting for SiM. The admin asked whether we are visiting or I don't have a babysitter. "No babysitter". Then the administrator asked How long is HE staying? I very much wanted to say that he is ready to leave but I'd like to take care of some things that I didn't finish the day before. Instead, I said we are about to leave. "Good, because kids aren't allowed here" and some other stuff re: policy.

I'm one of the first to follow and enforce P & P, that's part of my job. But just yesterday, I noticed that the admin had 2 (two) kids in his office for at least 1/2 the afternoon. And as per my colleague, sometimes there are 4 kids who come to visit dad...What gives!?

And then, to add an insult to an injury and annoy someone who's already annoyed, one of the schools to which we applied for Eh called and said that Eh's too young. I submitted her D.O.B. with the application before the interview. Did she become younger after they saw us/her!? Why waste my time with the whole application process???

Now I'm sitting and repeating my mantra "Love every Jew, Love every Jew" and thanking Gd the kids are napping so I can vent.

The simple truth

Today, while I was desperately attempting to catch up on some documentation politely left for me by my assistant who left for greener pastures during my vacation, my collegues were discussing our gym's politics. In a subdepartment of 7 it was quite an amuzing discussion.
It basically evolved around one person- who was nice to her, to whom she wasn't nice, retaliations, counter retaliations, etc, etc, etc. Naturally, the person who was discussed wasn't in the gym, but that's besides the point.

I told the general public my opinion on the matter. Then I said that I don't believe people should confuse coworkers and friends, especially if there is some inequality in rank. Be polite and friendly with everyone and stop there. Not much room would be left for hurt feeling that would interfere with job performance, etc.

Then the subject shifted to odnoklasniki.ru and one of my collegues husband's finding me there
-> my ambivalence about being 'friends' with people whom I used to know in my social-butterfly-days with whom I pretty much lost all contact -> the public admission ( though I've never kept it a secret). I can pretty much count my friends on the fingers of my hand. Though the 'admission language was 'I don't have friends' after which I realize I should probably elaborate.

--I only make phone calls on my way to and from work (even lunch time is phone free), my mailbox if frequently full ( because 1-I save messages from friends and think that in this way I'd call them back faster, and 2- I check my messages ~1x/wk or when someone sends me a text saying that my mailbox is full), I don't check my email as religiously as I used to, etc.

But I also admitted that after a while I decided to try to be ' friends' on these social sites with all the people that I used to know. I honestly tell them that I 'collect' friends- what the heck, one never knows where an opportunity for a rekindled friendship or a personal reform may come from.

PS It's 12:50AM now and I'm too lazy to check if this post is intelligible. Life.

Verbal expressions and 1/2 jokes

A couple of months ago I was bypassed for promotion. It's a long but uncomplicated story. The point - my current semiboss sadly does not command respect. Yesterday, in the departmental gathering, which happens at the end of the day (aka lets-talk-or-make-calls-to-get-more-hours time), this semiboss said that he and another wannabe are practically best friends. To which I said, " I knew there was a reason I don't like you." An awkward silence followed. My 1/2 joke was taken literally...
Well, it was probably 85% literal and 15% joke. That's not the point. The question is, how prudent is it to be so outspoken!? Even in a casual environment, even when one isn't afraid or doesn't care to lose one's job, when does outspokenness (is there such a word? @ 11:54pm it's hard to say) becomes stupidity?
I just lost my train of thought. And this answers the second, unspoken question. My brain completely shuts down around midnight.
Peace out and til next time.